We've now been in Nebraska for nearly two weeks, having pulled out of our beloved west Petaluma home Monday, January 5th. The preceding weeks were really crazy. The weekend immediately prior to the move was particularly emotionally messy. Basically a peak of weeks of tension and stress that Jon and I had been experiencing both individually and also in our relationship with each other. Both my mom and his dad were there, adding elements of family patterns. All the deep fears came out in the way they do in the eye of the storm, especially as I've found during pregnancy.
But, as always, a new day broke with healing and promise.
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| Our last Dillon Beach sunset… for awhile |
Everything was cleaned (even the 2 year old meat juice leak in the fridge I never cleaned, thanks Mom!) and packed, and even, thanks to our dear friends and neighbors, our herb/ flower garden was completely cleared out. I was more relieved than sad about the latter, as the grouchy owner of the house had, to me unbelievably, requested we remove all plants! The landlord modified this by telling us to "do our best," but in the end I was happy to ensure that at least my beloved plants would find homes with caring hands. Some of you have a few of these plants-- thank you for loving them!!
Our cross country drive went relatively without incident, other than creeping along at times: Jon and his dad drove the giant 26 foot Penske truck pulling my car behind, while Mom and I followed in Jon's SUV. The truck would fall to 30-40 MPH going up any significant incline, but that was okay. It was probably just what we needed, to have some quiet, contemplative time to rest and have an isolated mother-daughter space. We also had Estrella in the car with us, with a nice little nest for her litter box and several comfy perch spots. I dosed her with Bach's Rescue Remedy for pets, which I'm a totally believer in-- she was a little trembly the first day, sitting on my lap mostly while I was driving. After that, she seemed to adjust and be as comfortable as she could be given the circumstances. Particularly because we were staying in "pet friendly" hotels, and I imagine the multiple other pet smells there were also grating her nerves. Most hotel clerks said, "A cat?! Mostly we have dogs." Of course, because most people don't find it compelling to road trip with their cat.
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| One of Estrella's comfy spots in the car, with Mom driving |
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| Neither she nor I are sure about the concept of cat walking... |
We arrived in Omaha late afternoon on Thursday the 8th, as dusk was falling and the temperatures were dropping from 15 degrees on down. While waiting for the guys in the truck to arrive (we'd gone ahead), Mom found a broom and swept the snow from the sidewalks and driveway (at least 2 inches)! And then Mom's cousin Rusty and his 4 very able-bodied sons, all with various shades of red hair, a veritable "Army of Rustys" arrived, along with a handful of other family, and our truck was unloaded in record time-- despite the dark and frosty weather. We were officially welcomed with open hearts, hearty constitutions, and strong arms.
Since, Jon and I have slowly been unpacking and "recalibrating," as I've been calling it. Settling and testing out the new soil our roots have found here. Our hearts have found their way back to each other's. As the stress hormones fall, I've had days of complete exhaustion-- one day where I barely did anything, just sat on the couch and read and drank tea. It's hard for me not to do things, particularly when it's clear there is so much to do. But I appreciate the lessons of pregnancy, the leniency it's allowed me to give myself (because, of course, right? we're hardest on ourselves with our expectations and judgement, etc. etc.). It's still a challenge at times to overcome the hardwiring, though.
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| The kitchen, shortly after arrival. Super fancy appliances and cabinets! |
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| After the snow has thawed… our new home! 1819 N. 49th St, Omaha, NE 68104 |
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| Our living room, looking towards the backyard and peeking through to the kitchen. Everything still in transition. |
I also feel grateful the enormous task of moving across the country that loomed large for my pregnancy to this point is generally past. The move made both a physical and emotional separation between the "here now" in Petaluma, and the "future there" in Omaha. I now feel like I can more completely focus on the birth as the most exciting thing to occupy my thoughts and preparations. And the baby is moving more than ever, so he's reminding me of his presence quite actively these days.
I didn't feel much of a connection to my prenatal provider in Santa Rosa, and felt mostly like I was being my own guide through my first 7 months of pregnancy. I highly anticipated my first appointment here at the only free-standing birth center in Nebraska, which was last Friday. It already feels dramatically different to see the location where I will give birth, to begin relationships with the people who will help with my birth. There's a few things I'd still like to work out with how I feel about the place, but more about that later.
Tomorrow is my first day of work! They'll start me out with a fairly slow orientation process it seems, just 3 days a week which I'll stick with even after returning from maternity leave. My "sabbatical" time now draws to a close. It wasn't completely without work, as some weeks I worked a fair amount, but it was removed from the feeling of much responsibility toward my employer. A lot more freedom of time. Although I had many busy plans for activities, conferences, classes, courses to fill this time, I completed few of them. Instead I started my pregnancy. Thought about things a lot. Rested abundantly. Joyfully spent last days in my first real garden of my own. Harvested herbs and seeds to carry through the winter and to future seasons in our new home. Preserved the fruits of the trees. Read books both silly and informative. Talked with cherished friends. Opened my heart further to my husband in our first months of the discovery of marriage.
In other words, just the work that needed to be done.
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| 30 weeks and 4 days |
